I am in graduate school and my best friend and I share many friends in the same program. However over the past few months I have noticed odd behavior from her that I think might be jealousy and its bothering me I dont know what to do. I can not be her friend completley because we do a lot of class projects together but I need a tactful way to deal with her.
Examples of what she has done:
*If someone compliments my photo that she took she will say oh (Elle) is not that pretty in person , she just looks that way in the photo because I touched it up.
* When I get good grades she says I only get them because I am lucky and the teachers like me…..and she says I know you cant be that smart.
* Asked me if my eyebrows were fake because they look too nice and why dont her eyebrows look like that ( I am spanish she is asian we have different eyebrow growths…that was my explanation.)
*She also has started dressing like me? HELP Please
you might want to talk to her about it. The things she said was very rude and uncalled for. IF she REALLY was your friend, she would support you, not put you down.
February 28th, 2010 at 4:09 am
Why are you still her friend? She’s a hater drop her like backpack.
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February 28th, 2010 at 4:46 am
Ask her what is the deal? You have to confront it!Tell her your starting to fell uncomfortable around her because she has been negative. Give the examples you gave to us. Tell her that that is not being a good friend and that you don’t deserve to be treated like that. You must give the examples.! Usually, when a person does that they have self esteem issues but they have a hard time admitting it. So that is why the examples are needed. It will get worse! She doesn’t like herself and Asians are not depicted in American Society as being beautiful. That is how the American media is. If your not a certain look you not "in" So. tell her she is a great person and she is beautiful and she should be proud on herself but that behavior is nothing to be proud of.
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February 28th, 2010 at 5:29 am
you might want to talk to her about it. The things she said was very rude and uncalled for. IF she REALLY was your friend, she would support you, not put you down.
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February 28th, 2010 at 6:15 am
The Persians have a saying about your "friends" behavior. It’s called ‘touching the tiger’, which means she is only brave enough to poke the tiger with a stick while the tiger is in its cage. Your ‘friend’ is showing he insecurity and low self-esteem, and using you to put down so she will feel ‘better’ about herself. It’s sad, to see her do this and hen start dressing like you. The dichotomy she is displaying is disturbing, to say the least. To be puting you down in front of others is bad enough, but dressign like you…that’s really disturbing. I don’t have a degree in psych, but from wha you ae describing, I would have to say she had a borderline personality disorder, probable personality dependancy (your personality is what she has chosen), and likely depression, if not being bi-polar. Now for the hard part. You are going to have to make a very hard decision, knowing ahead of time that no matter the outcome, you will probably lose her as a friend. You are going to have to speak to the appropriate person on campus thathandle medical/psychological problems, and get help for her. She is on a self-destrucive spiral path. SInce you asked what you should do, I know that you care about her welfare. Call on that strength, and do what you feel is the right thing to do. Your ‘friend’ is lucky to have someone like you to help her. Good luck.
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