First off let me say that I need someone who is funny and who I can laugh with, bottom line. Now how do I put this without sounding vain, I am an actor in college, around pretty girls a lot and I’m considered very good looking by most people. So I aim for pretty girls, now this has caused me issues because I tended to not go for the less pretty girls, rather just see them as friends. But I was the geek in high school and didn’t hit my growth spurt till grade 11 so I know what it’s like to be the undesirable skinny kid. I’m in college, and you might say girls every where! Yes, but I am super busy and don’t know how to meet girls from other programs!!! Some guys say my expectations are too high cause I want a girl like Carrie Underwood, and not in a fantasy but I’m looking for that girl, pretty, sweet, funny and smart. I’ve met these girls, THEY EXIST, but they always have boyfriends. Anyway am I looking for a needle in a hay stack, or looking in the wrong place, or just wrong and vain and need to check myself and settle for what’s around. By the way I’m still waiting for the right girl to loose my you know what.. so I’m officially pathetic as well. Kinda desperate for some info. Any answers? Opinions?
Performing artists are also the kind of girls I tend to be attracted to like singers, dancers and actors
No, you don’t come off as vain in my opinion at all! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having an IDEA of the qualities you want in a person so long as you keep that as a loose idea. Life is funny. Sometimes people come into your life that you might never expect to connect with but that, if you’re open to it, you might be surprised. Don’t let your ideas of what you want box you into ONLY being aware of one type of person. If you do that, you might miss out on someone who is amazing. The physical aspect is something you really can’t help. People are attracted to different types for different reasons. Some men like brunettes and that’s what they tend to date. That’s fine. Preferences are fine. But like I said, just be open to life’s possibilities.
To me, it sounds like you’re focusing way too hard on this. College is a time of self-discovery and having fun. Don’t weigh yourself down trying to analyze things so much. You’re attracted to what you’re attracted to period – don’t apologize for your taste in women! I will say this: keep in mind that a woman isn’t a balance sheet. It’s great to have a mental list of the qualities you want. But sit down & think about what the characteristics are that are real deal-breakers. For instance, for me, being a person of integrity & character is non-negotiable. I want to be with a man that I know will be honest & behave like a gentleman no matter if I’m watching or not. I happened to have married someone like that! You need to decide what YOUR non-negotiables are and no, it shouldnt’ be hair color! 
My main advice to you sweetie is just to be open to whatever life puts in your path. At the end of the day, every experience helps teach us something….even the negative experiences. So don’t sweat it.
February 26th, 2010 at 6:47 am
I don’t think you’re vain, you just know what you want. You shouldn’t settle or feel bad for not settling. It may take awhile but your dream girl is sure to come along. Good luck.
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February 26th, 2010 at 7:31 am
i think you wish you were good enough to be vain.
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February 26th, 2010 at 7:49 am
You sound like you do have high standards, but you know what you want. Some people say I have high standards too. Mine don’t have to do with looks though… more of a personality thing. I won’t settle, and it took me forever to find the right person who was available. It took a while but it happened.
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February 26th, 2010 at 8:38 am
Vain? No. Shallow and self-absorbed? Yes.
Broaden your horizons dude and stop thinking you’re so damn special.
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February 26th, 2010 at 9:13 am
You are judging these girls by their appearances. You reject the ones who don’t conform to the right ‘look’. Don’t you realise that the very pretty girls don’t need to be nice, warm, funny and fun to be with? They can just be arm candy and they’re still sought after. Anyway, my point is that you are, indeed, looking for a needle in a haystack- and remember, needles are cold and sharp and can hurt you; hay is cosy and natural and makes a nice bed to relax on.
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February 26th, 2010 at 10:02 am
You sound like a douche bag to me.
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February 26th, 2010 at 10:07 am
WHy would you be vain because you don’t want to "settle"? Nobody wants to "settle" for someone they don’t like or thats not their type. I dont think you are being vain. But, if you set your standards too high, you are right, they will probably be spoken for.
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February 26th, 2010 at 10:36 am
Keep looking; you’ll find what you’re looking for sometime somewhere.
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February 26th, 2010 at 10:59 am
if your lucky one of the ones you knock back could help you get the first base over with if you know what i mean.. then ..you need a realty check mate .. as the looks of some one dont matter it the person .. …
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February 26th, 2010 at 11:44 am
No. I never dated anyone until I found the perfect guy. I was asked out and people tried to set me up, but I always knew I’d find the perfect guy for me and I would know it when he came along. We have been married 11 years have 3 kids and are the best of friends to this day. We never grew bored of each other and everyone who knows us can see how in love we truly are. Never settle for someone you feel isn’t right. It is ok to wait until you find her!
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February 26th, 2010 at 12:04 pm
eh i mean i dont know you so im not gonna judge but theres a fine line between being vain and not settling for less than you think you’re worth. its fine to think your attractive…actually if you didnt think you were then that would obviously signal some kind of self essteeem issue. it is kind of high that you want someone who is similar to carrie underwood. instead of saying oh i want someone like this or that say that you want someone who is this (funny smart funny good looking IN YOUR EYES etc) if you honestly want your perfect girl you cant just sit and wait around for her…you’ll never get anything in life by sitting around and waiting. yes go out and search. its okay to expand your horizons besides the drama crowd. and last. dont just wanna find a girl for the sake of loosing your virginity. that is something really special that you wanna loose to someone that you really love and care about. hope this helps
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February 26th, 2010 at 12:41 pm
You need to re-evaluate your goals and what is most desirable in a girl friend. The best relationships are not necessarily those with the prettiest girls, there are other things to think about. There are many average looking people with great personalities. It is understandable that you would like girls with similar interests, but just stop looking for perfection.
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February 26th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
hmmm… well first of all let me just say don’t go for JUST looks, cause yes looks are important to an extent.. but sometimes those funny, goofy, smart, and sweet girls are the ones that aren’t all that good of a looker.. but they are awesome to hang with.. hmm… this is a toughy.. i’d suggest giving every single girl you come accross a chance cause you never know what can come of it… cause i’m a girly that’s a nerd (i play video games, read, and paint) but by society standards i’m "hot" and i honestly don’t care bout that so i give every guy a chance to get to know me… and the best bf’s i’ve had were the geeky kids that were soooo much fun to hang with!!!!
good luck!! do let me know how it goes k
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http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AthADW9gH3nfOlAJHxhTNNDsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20081217125040AAOpkQA
this q is in singles and dating as well
February 26th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
No, you don’t come off as vain in my opinion at all! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having an IDEA of the qualities you want in a person so long as you keep that as a loose idea. Life is funny. Sometimes people come into your life that you might never expect to connect with but that, if you’re open to it, you might be surprised. Don’t let your ideas of what you want box you into ONLY being aware of one type of person. If you do that, you might miss out on someone who is amazing. The physical aspect is something you really can’t help. People are attracted to different types for different reasons. Some men like brunettes and that’s what they tend to date. That’s fine. Preferences are fine. But like I said, just be open to life’s possibilities.
To me, it sounds like you’re focusing way too hard on this. College is a time of self-discovery and having fun. Don’t weigh yourself down trying to analyze things so much. You’re attracted to what you’re attracted to period – don’t apologize for your taste in women! I will say this: keep in mind that a woman isn’t a balance sheet. It’s great to have a mental list of the qualities you want. But sit down & think about what the characteristics are that are real deal-breakers. For instance, for me, being a person of integrity & character is non-negotiable. I want to be with a man that I know will be honest & behave like a gentleman no matter if I’m watching or not. I happened to have married someone like that! You need to decide what YOUR non-negotiables are and no, it shouldnt’ be hair color!
My main advice to you sweetie is just to be open to whatever life puts in your path. At the end of the day, every experience helps teach us something….even the negative experiences. So don’t sweat it.
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February 26th, 2010 at 2:04 pm
ironic? I can relate alot to your situation and I do feel that I may be vain sometimes. Also all the good girls do seem to ALWAYS have a boyfriend. In my opinion you should just keep doing what your doing, don’t change for anyone and wait for that girl who will be the one.
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